Reading Response #11

The process of working on only one piece this semester was very odd for me. I’m used to doing many different things in one class and knowing that all my marks depend on one article freaked me out at first. As I was writing my article however, I learned a lot about my writing and where my strengths and weaknesses are. I most of all learned how to incorporate emotion in a way that can relate to my readers. The technique of writing that will be most useful to me going forward is description writing. This will be important to me because I’m going into Science and I need to know how to properly describe the materials I am analyzing. I also enjoy using adjectives and looking at details so that might be why I enjoy this type of writing. After almost completing this course, I feel like I have a voice in my head telling me all the things I do wrong when I’m writing. This is probably from all the labs and lessons where I learned about many specific things about writing an article. This is a positive thing because it can push me to always make my writing better. Because of this, I feel like I’ve improved a lot and I am much more aware of what the reader will notice in my writing which will make certain that I can always put out the best form of writing possible at all times. One aspect I will need to improve in my writing is to get my point across more clearly. I tend to be too much in my own world. It will be important for me to be able to present information clearly as I move on with my career and that is why I would really need to improve this aspect of my writing.


Lab #11

Part 1

  1. The True Meaning of Sports
  2. They Never Gave up!
  3. Why They Really Play
  4. Are you like Them?
  5. The Drive that Strengthens you
  6. The Feeling you Get
  7. Games are not just Games
  8. The Drive: The Real Reason for Physical Activity
  9. How Could it Mean That Much
  10. The Enormous Field
  11. The Empty Stands


Part 2

I changed a lot of my beginning sentences but left all my endings. (They were pretty good) The beginning of my article used to start with me waking up my dad to go play soccer, but now it starts with me walking onto the soccer field. Another beginning change is after my introduction. I used to start off with my first point but it seemed that there was missing something so I added a paragraph to introduce my first point. Finally, I changed the beginning of my conclusion paragraph; it used to start with “In conclusion” but I have learned that this is incorrect and doesn’t sound very good. Knowing that, I started off right away with reminding the reader of all the points I made and how they relate to the main theme of my article.

Lab #10


The team we were playing was first and were mainly Mexican kids. The massacre started and couldn’t be stopped. We were all in the wrong positions and were not prepared. We were down 10-0 by the half. The second half went down the same road. After every goal, I would kick the ball back to the start and look up at the empty stands. Our parents could barely watch. I remember thinking what am I doing here? This is embarrassing. I need this to be over, this margin is too great. Why do we even play for this team if we suck so much? This process was exhausting. It went up to 21-0. We then went to shake hands. Everything was civil until one of the players from the other team called one of my players a “faggot and a pussy.” That wasn’t a good idea.

We were playing the best team and they massacred us. Why do we even play for this team if we suck so much? It went up to 21-0. We then went to shake hands. Everything was civil until one of the players from the other team called one of my players a “faggot and a pussy.” That wasn’t a good idea.


In conclusion, sports are extremely important in young people’s lives. It allows them to relieve negative feelings and it is a family away from home. It is also the first time where someone is in complete control. After a large number of years with that team, I switched to another team because of my living conditions and because a lot of the players had left. My new team faced off against that team and we were winning by a lot. After one goal, I remember picking up the goalie from my old team who looked completely discouraged, and I gave him a pat on the back.

Towards the end, I changed: I wasn’t the guy on the bench watching anymore. When there was a fight on the field or a loose ball, I was there, fighting for it. I was the guy that would tell my coach not to worry (he always was) and the guy to encourage the newcomers. I became them.


  1. I crawled out of bed and grabbed my bags.
  2. Another stupid Saturday morning, wasting it playing soccer with a bunch of losers.
  3. Shit! I checked my schedule: another game at 6:30 AM Saturday morning.
  4. I got on the field and before the whistle was blown, I knew how this was going to play out.
  5. Here  we go, another staurday morning in the garbage.



Response #9, comments on Tristan Lebrun’s second draft

I enjoy how you tell the story of what happened to your Tupperware: you make the reader get a sense of how annoyed and frustrated you were that it wasn’t where it should have been. Also, the adjectives you use really get your point across throughout. I can also easily follow where you’re going with everything that you say. I understood that the main idea was: it’s okay to react aggressively to someone who does something wrong. One theme I get from this is that all humans can’t help judging others, no matter the circumstances. Another theme I get from this is that people struggle to relate to others.

Some things you can improve is that you have some little phrasing errors here and there. Also, it is not clear how the situation changed you; you seemed to be the same person even after knowing the reasoning behind your reaction to Joe. (I’m not sure if that’s the point) Also, I would have interviewed an aggressive person and a shy person and asked them what they would have done in your shoes.

My favorite part of this article is how you address the Tupperware as your child and you the parent. (Clever idea) I also enjoy how your personality is represented through your writing. I get a good sense what kind of person you are.


Lab #9

Part 1


I am writing this article for young men or women interested in sports in any way. I say young because that is when most people are fit to play sports but it can also apply to older people with the same interests. The social classes are not specific to my target audience because sports can affect the poorest an the richest people in the world.



I am writing this article to demonstrate the importance of fighting for something in people’s lives. It should show people that fighting for something, if that something means a lot to them, can help them through  problems going on in their lives.



Exposition: The day my team started a fight

Complication: Why were they fighting against the other team? (The importance of fighting)

Rising Action

They need to fight because

  1. It made them forget about their problems during the week
  2. They were in control of the outcome of something for the first time in their lives
  3. The team was a family away from home and they all meant a lot to each other


When I changed soccer team, I picked up one of my friends from the other team. (My old team)


How it changed me: I became like everyone on the team. Sports became very different for me from then on.

Part 3

The main event I can focus on is the first event I’m going to write about because it contains the main theme I want to express in my article.



Lab #8


  1. Why did the players on my team fight against the other team and pass the ball around?
  • Why am I at a soccer field at 6:30 AM on a Saturday when I could be at home watching cartoons or sleeping?
  • Why did they start a fight against the other team knowing that they were going to surely be severely punished for it?
  • Why were some of my team mates still kicking the ball around after we lost by that much?
  • (These questions should come up in the opening scene)
  • The reason for the occurrence of these events is because they needed to fight:
  • (Explain that playing soccer and fighting is the same thing using research and interview)
  • The reasons they needed to fight:
  1. It was a way to forget the troubles of our lives
  2. To have another family or a sense of “togetherness”
  3. A way to be in charge of the outcome of something for the first time
  • After these three paragraphs, explain what happened personally after all this happened and how it affected me (what soccer/sports is to me now)


  1. First big opening scene: Me going to play soccer really early on Saturday morning
  1. Ending scene: Me picking up my friend who got scored on when I switched team
  2. Small scenes throughout:
  1. When I went to the champion’s league game (63 000 people)
  2. Team I coached who started losing every game 12-0 and then started to win


(Written in Part 2)







Textual Research Report


  1. My program of study is Pure and Applied Science.
  2. Why did the players on my soccer team start a fight against the other team?



Scholarly articles :

  1. Kim, Jun Woo, and Seung Hoon Jeong. “The Role of Causal Attributions in Sport Consumers’ Emotions and Satisfaction Judgment.” Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal Soc Behav Personal 43.5 (2015): 803-14. Web.
  • This article focuses on the emotional impact of a sport on an individual. The part of this article that can relate to one of the ideas I want to incorporate in my article, is the study they made. They examined a group of individuals and their emotions while watching and playing a sport. This can further help me understand the emotional state of the players on my team when they were fighting.
  1. Volkow, Nora. “Addiction.” Catecholamine Research in the 21st Century (2014): 166. Web.
  • This scientific article focuses on how addiction affects the brain. Unlike the others, this article can be used for the scientific part of my article. The studies and information contained in this article will help me describe (in laymen terms) how addiction affects the brain. There is an interesting part about the idea that all people are addicted to something in their lives and that it can sometimes be something positive.
  1. Milyavskaya, Marina, M. Joy Mcclure, Denise Ma, Richard Koestner, and John Lydon. “Attachment Moderates the Effects of Autonomy-supportive and Controlling Interpersonal Primes on Intrinsic Motivation.” Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science / Revue Canadienne Des Sciences Du Comportement 44.4 (2012): 278-87. Web.
  • The authors of this long article describe in great detail the effects of attachment in the brain. This is once again a scientific article and will help me describe the complex scientific theories of the brain. A very interesting idea I found here was that attachment to material things in people’s lives have more often positive than negative effects.
  1. Goldstein, Jeffrey H. Sports, Games, and Play: Social and Psychological Viewpoints. Hillsdale, NJ: L. Erlbaum Associates, 1979. Print.
  • Jeffrey Goldstein in this book focuses on the reasons why people are invested in sports. He mentions that when people become invested in a sport, they become part of a team or a group. This provides a feeling of being united with others which can be lacking in some people. This can help me explain why soccer meant so much to my teammates.
  1. Hutter, Mark, and Anthony Walsh. “The Science of Love: Understanding Love and Its Effects on Mind and Body.” Contemporary Sociology 21.3 (1992): 387. Web.
  • This book focuses on how love affects someone. The part of this book I want to focus on is how love affects the brain. The authors of this book have focuses very precisely on how love affects someone emotionally. An important aspect of this book was the idea that love can strongly influence somebody’s actions; whether those actions involve school or sports.

Others :

  1.  “Is Violence in Sports Inevitable?” N.p., n.d. Web. <

–       This internet article described how prominent sports are in violence. (Focusing more on professional sports teams) It will help me when I want to focus on the violent event that happened between my team and the other team. This has helped me understand all the reasons why violence is present in sports. The idea from this article that I want to focus on is how violence will always occur in sports no matter which sport someone is playing or in what condition they are in emotionally.

  1. 2. Silverman, Steven. “The Negative Effects of Youth Sports.” LIVESTRONG.COM. LIVESTRONG.COM, 26 Apr. 2015. Web. 10 Mar. 2016. <;.

This internet article describes the negative side of sports with three main categories: coaching, injuries and parental pressure. In my article, I want to view sports as a positive thing in someone’s life. This article views the negative aspects of being part of a sports team. An interesting aspect is the idea that the coach of a team can determine how someone feels about a sport which relates to my coach walking off the pitch during the fight.

  1. Ketchum, Dan. “The Effects of Sports on Emotional Health.” The Effects of Sports on Emotional Health. Demand Media, n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2016. <;.

This internet article focuses on the emotional effects of sports. The author here states that people who are too invested in a sport may have negative emotional health because of how much emphasis they are putting into it. I want to argue against this idea and explain how over investing in a sport can sometimes provide someone with emotional benefits.

  1. Van Schaik, Thomas. “The Psychology Of Social Sports Fans: What Makes Them So Crazy?” Sports Networker. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2016. <;.

– This internet article focuses on the attachment of fans and players to the sport they love. Van Schaik explains that a sports fan or player invested in a team for many years feels sadness most of the time because most teams are losers in competitive leagues. On the other hand, they feel satisfied when they have stayed with their teams for long periods of time and finally end up winning. This relates to the players on my soccer team.

         5. “Exhaustion.” – Training, Exercise, Muscle. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2016. <;.

This article describes exhaustion in sports players. The part of this article that I can use in my work is the part about mental exhaustion. It is stated in this article that athletes or players of a sports team, when having to play more than 4 times a week, can start to lose motivation and have negative thoughts about the sport. My article will focus on arguing against this point in some circumstances.

Lab #6

Part 1

I sat there on the bench watching: the stands were large but almost empty. There were only a few friends from the other team watching and laughing at us. The field we played on was actually a tennis field with the nets removed. I turned to my coach but he wasn’t there: slowly walking away with his briefcase he never used. On one side, half my team was in an all-out fist fight against the other team, screaming and yelling. Nearby, the other half of my team were passing the ball around and taking shots on net. It was at that point that I realized what a sport really is.

Part 2

Sports do not affect everyone the same way. There is however one important factor that is present in all sports that affects the player the most. This factor is the coaching. The coach decides who plays, how to play and when to play. This can greatly affect the way a person feels about a sport because with all these decisions the coach makes. As stated by, it can “make the experience enjoyable or miserable.” ( To be attached to a sport, as a fan or a player, you need to have a “deep emotional investment” in it, as stated on In other words, someone who feels pain and happiness with the outcome of a sports game is attached to that sport. This means that coaching can determine if a person is attached to a sport or not.

Part 3

A lot of people play hockey in the world. According to, more than 1 200 000 people over 15 years old play organized hockey in a league. There is also more than 2 300 000 people who play hockey in the US.

Part 4



Lab #5

Part 1

  1. Why did the players on my team start a  fist fight against the other team?
  • Addiction affects on the brain
  • Love affects on the brain
  • Attachment affects on the brain
  • Training Athletes
  • Leadership (people who have been part of a team for a long time, for example, the captain of a soccer team)
  • Hoarders
  • Famous sports fights
  • Amount of kids in organized sports in Montreal
  • Popularity of sports
  • Violence in sports

Part 2

This article on described how prominent violence is in sports. I described incidents where  players purposely hurt others with the goal of winning the game. This is why it was not very useful to my topic.

This article showed all the responsibilities a captain of a sports team needs to deal with. This helped because it relates to the dedication and attachment people can have to a sport.

Part 3

This scholarly article gave a lot of information about how addiction affects the brain. It forces someone to be bound to whatever it is they are addicted to.

This scholarly article explains how people can be attached to things that are not a person. For example a toy, clothes or a sport they play. It can be useful when I need to explain how the people on my team have become attached to the sport of soccer.

Part 4

This article describes negative psychological impacts from sports. It focuses on the coach: how having bad coach can ruin someone’s feeling about a sport. Also, a large amoun tof pressure from parents can ruin a kid’s feelings about a sport. It can feel more like a chore than something fun.

This article demonstrates that people that play sports can lead to unhealthy aggression and competitive attitudes. People with sports injuries can have negative emotions like boredom and depression.

Part 5







Lab #4

PART 1: I have read the article again.


Before 1994, diabetes in children was generally caused by a genetic disorder — only about 5 percent of childhood cases were obesity-related, or Type 2, diabetes. Today, according to the National Institutes of Health, Type 2 diabetes accounts for at least 30 percent of all new childhood cases of diabetes in this country.

Part 3

I grew up as a typical mid-1980’s latchkey kid. My parents were split up, my dad off trying to rebuild his life, my mom working long hours to make the monthly bills. Lunch and dinner, for me, was a daily choice between McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken or Pizza Hut.

Part 4

I tend to sympathize with these portly fast-food patrons, though. Maybe that’s because I used to be one of them.

Part 5

Kids taking on McDonald’s this week, suing the company for making them fat. Isn’t that like middle-aged men suing Porsche for making them get speeding tickets?

Part 7

I have a group of 6 friends I have known since I was 9 years old that I still talk to and get together with. I have a strong understanding of connection and attachment because of them. Those guys are like brothers to me. This means that I know exactly what attachment feels like and how being with these people all my life (my earliest relationships) has structured me into what I have become today.

Part 8

As I was watching my teammates physically fight against the other team, I  wanted to feel what they felt. Imagine you were sitting on that bench instead of me, watching them fight their hearts out. I wanted to be like them and from then on, I did feel what they feel. I felt the attachment, love and  excitement  every time I showed up to a game or practice. I felt a strong connection with the other players on my team which made me feel like I had another family. This is the part of sports that most people don’t recognize.